Friday, March 1, 2013

Trying

To not get trapped...


Nomatter how well I do, I still end up with my reality at the end of the day... I used to feel comfort being left alone with my thoughts, being alone with myself but it's getting harder. It's really true, you always need someone to turn to when in pain, joy, anger or any other overwhelming feeling. it's really weird how you once felt comfortable and happy by not letting anyone in to your circle and how greedy you become when you let them in. I guess letting in can be easier than letting them out especially when they leave without your consent or a warning.  

Lhamdella, is the source of my strength to everything, most people wont understand. But nomatter what I go through I really feel thankful, I have so much more than I need. God is the only one that I fully trust in. Nomatter what happens I know He's fair, and I know he won't leave me alone. It really hurts when my mind and heart remembers that the people in my circle, the people that found their way there to make it a better place, left. It feels so heavy everytime I remember how some of them left. What keeps me going on nomatter what the next episode of this bad soap opera is giving, is my trust to God. What keeps my actions intact and what makes me follow my comon sense is also my trust to God and I'm always thankful, because I know. Lhamdella, lhamdella, lhamdella... I have so much and I'm going to continue seeing what I have and what I can get instead of looking for what I had. What I had once made me happy and the positive feelings that I was given once is still there, keeping me warm.

What you guys gave me during your lifetime will be enough  for me to live on... Thank you, I love you and I'm sorry...  


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